A Silly Tirade Too Long For The Twitter

Will someone please tell me the exact event 5 years ago that led to disposable head razors TRIPLING in price; cus, I just cant remember a specific cause, yet the result is clear. Is it possible that disposable head razor manufacturers only just realized that Americans will pay damn near any price for the ability to shave stubble? Is it that The Man wants us to choose between being poor or being hirsute?

Well, I say Fuck You Disposable Head Razor Manufacturers! I will no longer be a slave to your cutting ways! (In a world where 'never' means 'probably never, but check with me again in a few days') As of today I will never again shave! 

So, There! Take That.

-- Oh gawd. What have I done?

A List of Things My Cat Will No Longer Be Able To Pee On: In No Discernable Order

 

• A pile of dirty towels on the floor
• A single towel on the floor
• A dish rag that accidentally fell on the floor
• OK, lets just go with terry cloth item(s) on the floor. Fuckin Cat
• The floor, two inches in front of the litter box
• the door leading out to the litter box in the sun room.  It was apparently too hot/cold to go out there and pee. Fuckin Cat
• The cat scratcher. The corrugated cardboard cat scratcher. Fuckin Cat
• Lastnights jammies, next to the bed on the floor.
• OK, fuck it. Cotton things On The Floor. That Fuckin Cat
• The pillow she was laying on. Cus apparently it was just too comfortable to get up and go somewhere else to pee.
• The box that *insert expensive product name here* came in and that we might need to return
• The new roommates leather backpack. Oh yah. That really happened.
• Anything available in your line of sight, that offers her the opportunity to look at you with extreme malice while she pees. Because she is angry. And she needs you to know it. Just to be a bitch.

Penny was an awesome cat - in that her bladder was easily human sized. That God Damned Cat.